shamrockmoon: okay... I need to work out how I feel about something and you're the only one I want to talk to about it
shamrockmoon: I just talked to Jeff... he layed out his whole schedule for me for the next few weeks.... very nice... kinda unexpected since we usually do things on the fly / easy breezy ya know?
shamrockmoon: tonight he's with his son. I like that. Jeff wants to see me when he gets off work tomorrow instead. He says "I'm sorry. I know Friday is usually our night together"
shamrockmoon: ummmm..... okay
shamrockmoon: then he says he's getting a new bed. His mom is bringing it over for him next week. And he asks if I want to come stay with him at his place, in his new bed, all next weekend.
shamrockmoon: I guess his son and the baby mama / wife / ex-wife / seperated wife / whatever she is will be out of town all weekend
shamrockmoon: my first, gut reaction was one of "ew", "no thanks", "hell no". I mean I've never seen his place. Or should I say THEIR place.
shamrockmoon: do I want to spend the weekend in HER house? or is it THEIR house?
shamrockmoon: or WTF? I actually feel kinda icky about it... but why? Why should I feel icky? I'm not doing anything wrong. Is it because I'm not even sure she knows about me? Or is it because they never got divorced? Of course it's wierd that they still live together... or live together again... or whatever. JEEZ. I never had to think this much about it. I don't like thinking about it.
shamrockmoon: Then this thought comes into my head: if I really want to know what the deal is with the two of them... a) if they have seperate bedrooms, b) how long he's lived there, c) if it's THEIR house or HER house, etc..... what better way to find out and quick like than to go over there? ya know?
shamrockmoon: of course I'm curious. does he have furniture there aside from the bed? does she have other men that come over? is he hiding me from her? All of the things I haven't asked maybe because I didn't want to know the answer or maybe because I didn't think Jeff and I would ever be in a serious, long-term type relationship
shamrockmoon: if he's hiding me from her why in the world would he invite me over?
shamrockmoon: if they share a bed there is no way in hell I'm going over there and that just might cause me to stop seeing him alltogether
shamrockmoon: if they have seperate rooms and seperate beds then maybe he's on the up and up and really just lives there for the sake of his son so he can watch him during the day this summer and after school in the fall and for the sake of convenience because he doesn't drive and because he just moved back from Yakima and started a new job in the past month and hasn't gotten a place, yet
shamrockmoon: I'm also shocked that he wanted to make plans with me weeks in advance. I mean we talked about his schedule up to the 18th of July
shamrockmoon: when he said "then things will get back to normal"
shamrockmoon: what does that mean?
shamrockmoon: wierd... I wish you were around so you could ask me some good questions
shamrockmoon: I told him my first reaction is that I'm wierded out by the whole idea and he said "well we can totally stay at your place then. It's all about what you want... what you're comfortable with... I just wanna see you and we can be alone here instead of with Tina and Perry and Barb at your place... but I'm perfectly happy staying wherever you want, baby. don't stress. think about it and let me know"
shamrockmoon: he did say his old bed had springs that were poking him in the back.... not poking US in the back. He did say MY bed........ not OUR bed. And if she's got such a good job why would she sleep on a crappy mattress with springs popping out? And if they were going to share this mattress why would his mom bring it over from Yakima? You'd think the EX would just buy one. which leads me to believe she has her own. Maybe I'm assuming things that are totally not true about the two of them and his situation there. And maybe staying there next weekend, no matter how uncomfortable it is at first, will clear those things up?
shamrockmoon: or maybe I don't want those things cleared up.... maybe I like thinking that I have the freedom to do whatever I want with anybody else I choose because he's got this wife at home... maybe that is what keeps our "relationship" shallow and short-term in my mind and therefore safe
shamrockmoon: because it has gone through my mind "that guy is hot. I'd like to date him. And jeff can't say anything about that cause I'll just bring up the fact that he still lives with his wife." it's like it gives me free reign to have my cake and eat it, too
shamrockmoon: I guess there will come a time when I have to sit down with jeff and have a conversation about all this... as difficult as it is....or choose to stop seeing him.... sigh... I do care an awful lot about him. he is sweet to me. has never been sarcastic or snotty or rude or spiteful with me. he has never even gotten mad at me, ever. he doesn't tell me what to do or judge me in any way whatsoever. he never questions me. never disrespects me. he's a hard-working man. he's working full time at Salty's even tho he's getting very little sleep cause it's so far from his house and they work him like a dog. sometimes he doesn't even get a break to take his insulin. I thought for sure he'd quit by now but, nope. he just keeps on workin.
shamrockmoon: There's a Ryan Adams song where he says "we don't choose who we love and we don't choose what we see". I was reminded of that when you said today "why don't I like the guy I'm supposed to like?"
shamrockmoon: maybe we really don't choose who we love and maybe we should take the love that comes our way because tomorrow is not guaranteed. maybe things do happen for a reason. maybe jeff and I are meant to be and that's why we keep coming back to each other over all these years.... no matter how it ended the time before... even if he did lie to me before.... even if I did leave town to live with another man in another state without even saying goodbye last time.... if he can forgive me for that then I can forgive him for lying I suppose... at least he knows that I wont put up with that kind of shit and that I have no problem leaving him if he's making me more unhappy than happy

ME to Rox:
awww. don't cry. grab your MAC Fix+. I got some too and I think I'll use it right now. I'm putting all of this email, your response included, in my online journal. this is important stuff. Ronni helped me put the Robyn (the lame stepsister) stuff into perspective. Robyn is clearly miserable right now. She's in love with some other guy and still married to a great guy who adores her to death. She must be feeling pretty bad about herself. Ronni says that Robyn always acted like a jerk when we were younger but that a few years ago when she was happy in her marriage she didn't act like that at all. She was kind and fun and generous. But she is just hating herself right now and takes it out on those around her. Just goes to show that how we treat other people has alot to do with how we feel about ourselves and life in general.

Me to Ron:
>I don't think Sandy would be freaked out by that. You should ask her. I
>think it'd be worth it even if she was freaked out, who cares. It would be
>so cool to have that informatoin. I liked her more this time around than
>any other time. I think she really, really loved dad and it made her do
>crazy things. I think we're all guilty or that... or at least capable. She
>is nuts, no doubt about that, but I guess I forgive her. The person I don't
>like at this point is Robyn. I told her I didn't like hearing everybody
>tell me how well they knew my dad cause I didn't get a chance to know him
>like they did and she thought that was nuts and told me so. "Well I want to
>hear everything I can about MY dad"... good for you. Aren't you lucky that
>you feel the way you're supposed to feel and I feel envious. I told her
>than nothing anybody could say to me about my dad would take the place of
>actually knowing him just like the things people say about her don't make
>me any closer to her. I always feel like she's judging me in some way. Looking through my things
>and passing her judgements. "Is that YOUR magazine? Is that YOUR boyfriend?
>Are those the shoes YOU'RE actually going to WEAR? Do you LIKE that band?
>Is this one of the bands you FOLLOW around?" shut up. After she asks she
>never says anything like "cool" or "right on" or anything really. Just
>stands there judging. she can kiss my ass.

Ron to ME:
I know exactly what you mean - I found I walked away from every single
conversation with her feeling uneasy or confused or irritated. It's like
you can't just sit down and have a conversation with her - she acts so
WEIRD. Weird reactions, weird comments, weird faces. Don really felt for
Danny - he said Danny looked like he had a hard time hearing the vows.

Me to Ron:
oh man. I can imagine. It killed me to see him come up to her and rub her arm or her back and to see her look right through him like he wasn't even there. poor guy. Oh man... hahahhah.... she walked up to this group of ladies in the church before the ceremony and said "let me get a picture of you Meena, you gossip whore" And they all shot daggers at her with their eyes like they'd never heard that term before. It was so funny! She took the picture anyway. I'd love to see that picture. hahahhaha! Ronda was awesome. She even defended me from Robyn a couple times saying "everybody feels differently and deals with things differently"

I am LOVING this skin care line... the Patricia Wexler stuff. My face is not shiny for once in my life!! It's awesome! My pores look smaller. the color is more even toned. I've gotten a couple pimples still but they are small and "normal" and go away right after I pop them. And I've only been using it less than a week. I sure hope it lasts cause I am diggin it! That box was $45 at Bath and Body Works. I'm thinking about going and getting another one.

Ron to ME:
It's interesting - I think she feels so shitty about herself right now
because of everything going on that it's really showing in how she acts.
When she came to visit in CA she was great - really generous, pleasant,
supportive. I'm hoping this won't be her normal self from now on. It's a
lot more like how she was when we were all younger.

Me to Ron:
ya know... I didn't think about that... about what she's going through. She was crying when Ronda left with me. It's pretty clear she is miserable. Thinking about that makes it easier to take the stupid things she said. She doesn't have to kiss my ass now. hahahhaha.

Roxanne wrote:
You just totally made me cry sitting here at my desk.... I do feel lucky to have my dad and I appreciate that he calls me almost everyday evenif he just says the same things.... I still appreciate it. Step sisters... ew... sounds like you have one good one tho and good for you that Ronni rocks. At least you are honest with your emotions and don't mold your feelings to what you are expected to feel... you are real. That is what makes you great. And when you get married... I will let you use my dad to walk you down the aisle if you want! He does well in mixed company.

I better get to work.. i enjoyed reading your email.

Amanda wrote:
It was so much better to hear you tell me about this on the phone!! We need to do that more often. Seems to me the more you talk to a person on the phone the easier it is to just say "I gotta go" or "I'll call you back later" or whatever, like we were saying. the first few conversations are always long but then you get into a pattern where is quick and easy chatting.

I did fine walking in my shoes. My feet hurt by the end of the day but I don't think anybody noticed. Yeah, it was in Wenatchee which is always a little wierd since that's where my dad died and all the people from the church want to talk about him. After a while it gets to be too much. One lady.... this takes the cake.... she asked who I was and how I knew Lisa and I said I was her sister and she looked at me funny like "huh?" so I said "Bary's daughter" and she says "Well I knew Bary VERY well" and just looked at me. It felt like she was accusing me of lying or something, I dunno. So I said "ok well he had two daughters before Lisa: Ronni and Mandy. I'm Mandy." And she says "hmmm. ok. Well I was the one who found him dead." As if this makes her SO close to him. Like some badge of honor she wears. I just walked away. I mean this is supposed to be a happy occassion and not a place to talk about morbid crap like that. By the end of the wedding I was so tired and fed up (we had been decorating the night before until nearly 1am and then had to have our hair done at 7am and pictures at 10am) I ended up crying and leaving without saying goodbye. There were pictures of my dad everywhere which I loved. I grabbed one and asked Lisa if I could keep it and she said "yeah. of course" and I said "he should've been here to give you away. It's just not fair." and I started crying. I tried to regain my composure and come back a couple times but it didn't work so I just drove off. That part kinda sucked but I think it was necessary. I don't care what those people think and Lisa knows how I feel and stuff. The reception was nearly over so I didn't miss anything. I hate to feel envious of people who knew my dad, since I never had a chance to really know him, but I do. So there. No apologies. That's just me I guess. It's like "good for you. congratulations." My evil stepsister says "well I want to hear everything I can about my dad. why wouldn't you want to know more about your dad" I told her "anything these people have to say about my dad isn't the same as knowing him and maybe I"m just comfortable in my position of 'poor me. I didn't know my dad' but whatever. congratulations that you feel how a person SHOULD feel and I feel jealous. good for you." bitch. My other stepsister, Ronda, chimed in and said "everybody deals with things differently and feels differently. there's nothing wrong with the way you feel" I had a fabulous time with Ronda. She lives in AZ and feels almost as uncomfortable with all those 7th Day Adventist people in Wenatchee as I do. We were laughing about stepping into the church and bursting into flames. She's a lesbian and considered the wild child even tho she's got more integrity and personality and acceptance and respectfulness than her sister, Robyn, ever will have. What I got out of the whole thing was the chance to get to know Ronda since I picked her up at the airport and we drove over to Wenatchee together. She is a great person and alot of fun. I want to go visit her in AZ sometime soon.

this is funny....After the wedding Ronni and Don and the kids and I all went to eat authentic German food in Leavenworth. It was pretty good. A little strange, some of it, but good. I went back to my room and they drove back home to Bothell. About 11pm I woke up feeling sick. I drank some alka-seltzer and tried to go back to sleep but I was too sick. Eventually I threw up every bit of that damn German food I ate. HAHHAHHAHAHA. Every bit. Puked till it was all out of me. then I got back in bed and slept like a baby until 10am and felt totally fine. Had coffee. Ate breakfast. HAHHAHA. It was too wierd. I quick called Ronni to see if the kids were ok cause food poisoning can really make the little ones very sick and I always worry about that. She said they were fine and she was fine. Don in the backgrough says "I had MAJOR diarreah!" So something in that food was just wrong.

The wedding itself was beautiful. It was traditional but simple and short. The pastor didn't make it too religious. He had some wonderful practical advice to give like "go to bed together at the same time every night. Even if one of you gets up after the other falls asleep. Having that time together at the end of each day is very important" and "Love isn't how you feel about the other person. If you base your love and your marriage only on how you feel about your spouse then it's just a roll of the dice because how you feel about that person can change from day to day, moment to moment. Love is about the commitment you make to treating that person with kindness and respect every day." and "when your spouse is not around speak highly of them. What you say will always get back to them and will strengthen the bond you already have." So it was very sweet, very honest, very genuine. Lisa cried and cried. I gave her a real Irish linen hankerchief to put in her bra in case she cried and she used it which of course I loved to see. But, it shoulda been my dad who gave it to her. dammit. Now go call your dad and tell him you love him.

Talk to you soon!

Love ya! - Mandy

Lao Tzu said, “I have only three things to teach: compassion, simplicity and patience”


Nothing in the past or future ever will feel like today.
-Connor Oberst


Worry doesn’t empty tomorrow of its troubles
It empties today of its strength
-Corrie Ten Boom



Accomplish humble tasks as though they were great and noble. The world is moved along not only by the mighty shoves of heroes, but also by the tiny pushes of each honest worker. -Helen Keller



Self-trust is the first secret of success.
–Ralph Waldo Emerson



Integrity is so perishable in the summer months of success. -Vanessa Redgrave



The success of any great moral enterprise does not depend upon numbers. -William Lloyd Garrison



Five essential qualities that are the key to success:
Sincerity, personal integrity, humility, courtesy, wisdom. -William Menninger



Worry about being better; bigger will take care of itself. Think one customer at a time and take care of each one the best way you can.
-Gary Comer


The magic formula that successful businesses have discovered is to treat customers like guests and employees like people.
-Thomas J. Peters


THE FOUR AGREEMENTS

1. Be Impeccable With Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don't Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don't Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.

Tina – ESFP
 Enthusiastic and fun-loving, they make everything enjoyable
 Clever, witty, direct, and popular, people are drawn towards them
 Earthy and sensual
 Down to earth and practical, able to take care of daily needs
 Artistic and creative, they're likely to have attractive homes
 Flexible and diverse, they "go with the flow" extremely well
 They can leave bad relationships, although it's not easy
 Try to make the most of every moment
 Generous and warm-hearted
 May be frivolous and risky with money
 Tend to be materialistic
 Extreme dislike of criticism, likely to take things extremely personally
 Likely to ignore or escape conflict situations rather than face them
 Lifelong commitments may be a struggle for them - they take things one day at a time
 Don't pay enough attention to their own needs
 Tendency to neglect their health, or even abuse their bodies
 Always excited by something new, they may change partners frequently
Me – INTJ “The Scientist”
 Not threatened by conflict or criticism
 Usually self-confident
 Take their relationships and commitments seriously
 Generally extremely intelligent and capable
 Able to leave a relationship which should be ended, although they may dwell on it in their minds for awhile afterwards
 Interested in "optimizing" their relationships
 Good listeners
 Not naturally in tune with others feelings; may be insensitive at times
 May tend to respond to conflict with logic and reason, rather than the desired emotional support
 Not naturally good at expressing feelings and affections
 Tendency to believe that they're always right
 Tendency to be unwilling or unable to accept blame
 Their constant quest to improve everything may be taxing on relationships
 Tend to hold back part of themselves
Tina - ESFP
Roxanne – ESTJ
Matthew Kilger – ENTP
Ronni – ESFJ The Guardian, The Host
Tamra – ESFP The Entertainer
Linda Jenksinson – ENTJ
Rich Lancaster – INTP
Renee – ESFJ
Jemine – ISFJ The Custodian or Protector Guradian
Anthony – ISFJ
Matt (interviewee at MM) – ENTP
Farah – INFJ
Joli – ESFP
Jordan – INFJ
Mary Kay - ENFJ

• very expressed introvert
• distinctively expressed intuitive personality
• slightly expressed thinking personality
• slightly expressed judging personality
Portrait of a Rational Mastermind:
Of the four aspects of strategic analysis and definition, it is the contingency planning or entailment organizing role that reaches the highest development in Masterminds. Entailing or contingency planning is not an informative activity, rather it is a directive one in which the planner tells others what to do and in what order to do it. As the organizing capabilities the Masterminds increase so does their inclination to take charge of whatever is going on.
It is in their abilities that Masterminds differ from the other Rationals, while in most of their attitudes they are just like the others. However there is one attitude that sets them apart from other Rationals: they tend to be much more self-confident than the rest, having, for obscure reasons, developed a very strong will. They are rather rare, comprising no more than, say, one percent of the population. Being very judicious, decisions come naturally to them; indeed, they can hardly rest until they have things settled, decided, and set. They are the people who are able to formulate coherent and comprehensive contingency plans, hence contingency organizers or "entailers."
Masterminds will adopt ideas only if they are useful, which is to say if they work efficiently toward accomplishing the Mastermind's well-defined goals. Natural leaders, Masterminds are not at all eager to take command of projects or groups, preferring to stay in the background until others demonstrate their inability to lead. Once in charge, however, Masterminds are the supreme pragmatists, seeing reality as a crucible for refining their strategies for goal-directed action. In a sense, Masterminds approach reality as they would a giant chess board, always seeking strategies that have a high payoff, and always devising contingency plans in case of error or adversity. To the Mastermind, organizational structure and operational procedures are never arbitrary, never set in concrete, but are quite malleable and can be changed, improved, streamlined. In their drive for efficient action, Masterminds a re the most open-minded of all the types. No idea is too far-fetched to be entertained-if it is useful. Masterminds are natural brainstormers, always open to new concepts and, in fact, aggressively seeking them. They are also alert to the consequences of applying new ideas or positions. Theories which cannot be made to work are quickly discarded by the Masterminds. On the other hand, Masterminds can be quite ruthless in implementing effective ideas, seldom counting personal cost in terms of time and energy.
A full description of the Mastermind and Rational is in People Patterns or Please Understand Me II
General Ulysses S. Grant is an example of Mastermind Rational




Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging
by Marina Margaret Heiss
Profile: INTJ
Revision: 3.0
Date of Revision: 27 Feb 2005
________________________________________
To outsiders, INTJs may appear to project an aura of "definiteness", of self-confidence. This self-confidence, sometimes mistaken for simple arrogance by the less decisive, is actually of a very specific rather than a general nature; its source lies in the specialized knowledge systems that most INTJs start building at an early age. When it comes to their own areas of expertise -- and INTJs can have several -- they will be able to tell you almost immediately whether or not they can help you, and if so, how. INTJs know what they know, and perhaps still more importantly, they know what they don't know.
INTJs are perfectionists, with a seemingly endless capacity for improving upon anything that takes their interest. What prevents them from becoming chronically bogged down in this pursuit of perfection is the pragmatism so characteristic of the type: INTJs apply (often ruthlessly) the criterion "Does it work?" to everything from their own research efforts to the prevailing social norms. This in turn produces an unusual independence of mind, freeing the INTJ from the constraints of authority, convention, or sentiment for its own sake.
INTJs are known as the "Systems Builders" of the types, perhaps in part because they possess the unusual trait combination of imagination and reliability. Whatever system an INTJ happens to be working on is for them the equivalent of a moral cause to an INFJ; both perfectionism and disregard for authority may come into play, as INTJs can be unsparing of both themselves and the others on the project. Anyone considered to be "slacking," including superiors, will lose their respect -- and will generally be made aware of this; INTJs have also been known to take it upon themselves to implement critical decisions without consulting their supervisors or co-workers. On the other hand, they do tend to be scrupulous and even-handed about recognizing the individual contributions that have gone into a project, and have a gift for seizing opportunities which others might not even notice.
In the broadest terms, what INTJs "do" tends to be what they "know". Typical INTJ career choices are in the sciences and engineering, but they can be found wherever a combination of intellect and incisiveness are required (e.g., law, some areas of academia). INTJs can rise to management positions when they are willing to invest time in marketing their abilities as well as enhancing them, and (whether for the sake of ambition or the desire for privacy) many also find it useful to learn to simulate some degree of surface conformism in order to mask their inherent unconventionality.
Personal relationships, particularly romantic ones, can be the INTJ's Achilles heel. While they are capable of caring deeply for others (usually a select few), and are willing to spend a great deal of time and effort on a relationship, the knowledge and self-confidence that make them so successful in other areas can suddenly abandon or mislead them in interpersonal situations.
This happens in part because many INTJs do not readily grasp the social rituals; for instance, they tend to have little patience and less understanding of such things as small talk and flirtation (which most types consider half the fun of a relationship). To complicate matters, INTJs are usually extremely private people, and can often be naturally impassive as well, which makes them easy to misread and misunderstand. Perhaps the most fundamental problem, however, is that INTJs really want people to make sense. :-) This sometimes results in a peculiar naivete', paralleling that of many Fs -- only instead of expecting inexhaustible affection and empathy from a romantic relationship, the INTJ will expect inexhaustible reasonability and directness.
Probably the strongest INTJ assets in the interpersonal area are their intuitive abilities and their willingness to "work at" a relationship. Although as Ts they do not always have the kind of natural empathy that many Fs do, the Intuitive function can often act as a good substitute by synthesizing the probable meanings behind such things as tone of voice, turn of phrase, and facial expression. This ability can then be honed and directed by consistent, repeated efforts to understand and support those they care about, and those relationships which ultimately do become established with an INTJ tend to be characterized by their robustness, stability, and good communications.
________________________________________
Functional Analysis
by Joe Butt
Introverted iNtuition
INTJs are idea people. Anything is possible; everything is negotiable. Whatever the outer circumstances, INTJs are ever perceiving inner pattern-forms and using real-world materials to operationalize them. Others may see what is and wonder why; INTJs see what might be and say "Why not?!" Paradoxes, antinomies, and other contradictory phenomena aptly express these intuitors' amusement at those whom they feel may be taking a particular view of reality too seriously. INTJs enjoy developing unique solutions to complex problems.
Extraverted Thinking
Thinking in this auxiliary role is a workhorse. Closure is the payoff for efforts expended. Evaluation begs diagnosis; product drives process. As they come to light, Thinking tends, protects, affirms and directs iNtuition's offspring, fully equipping them for fulfilling and useful lives. A faithful pedagogue, Thinking argues not so much on its own behalf, but in defense of its charges. And through this process these impressionable ideas take on the likeness of their master.
Introverted Feeling
Feeling has a modest inner room, two doors down from the Most Imminent iNtuition. It doesn't get out much, but lends its influence on behalf of causes which are Good and Worthy and Humane. We may catch a glimpse of it in the unspoken attitude of good will, or the gracious smile or nod. Some question the existence of Feeling in this type, yet its unseen balance to Thinking is a cardinal dimension in the full measure of the INTJ's soul.
Extraverted Sensing
Sensing serves with a good will, or not at all. As other inferior functions, it has only a rudimentary awareness of context, amount or degree. Thus INTJs sweat the details or, at times, omit them. "I've made up my mind, don't confuse me with the facts" could well have been said by an INTJ on a mission. Sensing's extraverted attitude is evident in this type's bent to savor sensations rather than to merely categorize them. Indiscretions of indulgence are likely an expression of the unconscious vengeance of the inferior.


a, your answers to the questions indicate that you tend toward being a Thinker. Characteristics of a Thinker:
Strengths:
Planning, analyzing
Weaknesses: Perfectionistic, overly critical
Irritation: Unpredictability
Goals: Accuracy, thoroughness
Fear: Criticism
Motivator: Progress




An Overview of the Thinker Behavioral Style
Thinkers are slower-paced and task-focused. They are also indirect and guarded. They are concerned with analytical processes and are persistent, systematic problem solvers. They can also be seen as aloof, picky and critical. They are very security-conscious and have a high need to be right, leading them to an over reliance on data collection. In their quest for data, they tend to ask many questions about specifics. Their actions and decisions tend to be slow and extremely cautious, but they will rarely miss a deadline. Though they are great problem solvers, they could be better decision makers.
Thinkers tend to focus on the details and the process of work, and become irritated by surprises and “glitches.” Their emphasis is on compliance and working within existing guidelines to promote quality.
Thinkers like organization and structure and dislike too much involvement with other people. They work slowly and precisely by themselves, are time-disciplined, and prefer an intellectual work environment. They tend to be critical of their own performance. They tend to be skeptical and like to see things in writing.
Their strengths are their accuracy, dependability, follow-through and organization; weaknesses are procrastination and conservativeness, which promote their tendency to be picky and over-cautious.
Their greatest irritation is disorganized, illogical people. In business environments, they want others to be credible, professional, and courteous. In social environments, they like others to be pleasant and sincere.
Thinkers’ Motivators
Thinkers are motivated by the desire to be correct. Part of their identity is based upon their competence and the fact that they strive to do things right. They emphasize, therefore, things like precise understanding, accurate work, proper manners, and impeccable personal habits.
Conversely, Thinkers fear personal criticism or actions that threaten their self-preservation. Their means for avoiding such conflicts include self-protective actions such as building personal armor that makes it difficult for others to penetrate. It is often difficult to determine their real feelings due to their wall of privacy.
Thinkers naturally favor a methodical and deliberate approach to decision making. They like to be well prepared. They want to know exactly what is expected of them and then they satisfy those requirements by being highly organized. They almost always deliver on their promises.
Thinkers take pride in their ability to size up people and situations objectively. They like to clarify, reflect, and contemplate before making decisions. They are resourceful individuals who look at life in multiple ways, many of which are unique. Their ideas are often ingenious and highly creative.
Thinkers are appreciated most by people who appreciate different and somewhat unique perspectives. When people get to know them well, they often comment on their sense of humor. People also appreciate their ability to be discrete and avoid embarrassing other people.
Thinkers’ Growth Opportunities
Thinkers tend to be indecisive, especially when dealing with more complex, new, or adverse situations. They dislike making mistakes or being embarrassed. Before making decisions, they want all the information and time needed to ponder all the possibilities -- whether the situation allows this or not.
Thinkers fear criticism, so they tend to be less communicative in general. They keep their ideas and feelings to themselves, especially when in doubt. Others may view them as being unresponsive or aloof.
Thinkers can benefit by learning to share their feelings and showing genuine appreciation, acknowledgment, and recognition for others. They tend to be judgmental and demanding, and wonder why people cannot try to be as perfect as they are. This attitude often produces further tension in their relationships. Thinkers can benefit from being more collaborative in their dealings with people. Finally, Thinkers can benefit by being less self-critical and demanding.

Big5 Personality Test
I'm a O53-C41-E9-A22-N49 Big Five!!

So what'd your neighbor have to say? Is that other Dr gone yet? Did you have to let people go? Or is that yet to come? The clothes sound totally cute. I need to get out and get some clothes for Spring/Summer.


I'm at Ronni's watching the kids. Well kinda watching them. Don's mom is here, too, but she's a little bonkers from 20 years of klonopin and vicodin. So I'm watching her watch the kids. heheh. It's gettin a little ugly tho. Don's mom, Karen, hasn't transfered her health insurance or prescriptions up here and so she's running out of vicodin. So she got Don to buy her some on the sly. Then she got Don to buy her some again. Then Don was getting high all the time too so Ronni's like "hey. wait a minute". So Don said, "ok. no more". Then next thing you know Karen is out of vicodin again and so SHE calls Ronni and says "Ronni. I'm not doing so good. Is it alright if Don goes and gets me some more pills? please!" So Ronni said, "fine. this one last time" Ronni gets home and Don is wasted... totally wasted high and drunk so she's about to lose it. But the crux is, Karen probably can't just stop cold turkey. There are physical implications there that can be serious for somebody who's been addicted that long, who's a long time smoker, who is 60-something. I mean Karen has already been to the emergency room trying to get pills. She's a full on addict. Except now she's an addict with no insurance, no car, living in Ronni's house. Ronni finally told me all this yesterday. She told me she didn't want to call me cause I told her I had concerns about Karen moving in so she felt like I'd be thinking "I told you so" which was furthest from my mind. To further the dilema, back at Karen's house in California, her youngest son and his wife and two kids are now living in her house, driving her car and they dont' want her to come back. Plus Karen said "they'd kill me if they knew I was still taking pills" So apparently this was a problem for them, too, except her son's wife is a whacked out psycho bitch. She's the one that actually believe people do things like put the crunchy peanut butter in front of the smooth peanut butter just to piss her off. I mean just the fact that they moved in and took over her house and car and master bedroom says something. One, that Karen can't stand up for herself and, two, that her youngest son and daughter in law are more than happy to take advantage of her to the point where she just moves out. So Ronni can either send her back to psycho-bitch-take-advantage-of-me-land or put her in rehab or make her move out even tho she has no where to go up here. Poor Ronni. She always has the best intentions and is so patient and generous and this is how it ends up time and time again. She feels totally stupid, too, which makes it worse. Almost like she feels guilty, like she made it happen this way. I told her tho that at this point Karen cannot just up and quit cold turkey. She might as well be addicted to heroin. It's all opiates. I dont' think she needs to quit on her own. She needs help. And at this point the woman cannot even figure out how to use the TV remote. She's a freekin mess. So how is she supposed to be expected to even make a decision about where to live, how to sell her house and car, where her dog will live, how to kick her son out of her house. I don't know if she's even capable of getting her insurance transfered or anything that she MUST do in order to live up here without ruining Ronni's marraige. Because as long as she's taking pills, Don will be taking pills, too. He has an addictive nature. And Karen offers them to him without him even asking. jeez. It's a mess. I don't even know what to tell Ronni. She's mad at Karen and furious with Don but what good does that do? That doesn't solve the problem. They are addicts. Getting angry doesn't make them any less addicts. OK... I think you get the point. I just wish there was something I could do for my sister.



Well I'm gonna hit the couch. Talk to ya soon.

I forgot to mention the fight Saturday. Wladimir Klitschko knocked out Chris Byrd in the ... um... 6th or 7th round. It was heavenly. Go Team Klitschko!!!! Vitali was there looking stoic and serious as ever. I swear tho he is way more nervous and anxious when it's his little brother fighting than he EVER was when he fought. I came away from the fight loving them both more - Byrd and Wladimir that is. There's no way I could love Vitali more. Byrd took it like a man and gave credit where it was due. All-in-all a great fight to start off my Saturday night. Although there was a point when I thought the ref coulda stopped the fight sooner. Byrd was getting pummeled and contrary to what non-boxing fans say, it's NOT ABOUT seeing a guy get the shit beat out of him. It is the ultimate physical AND psychological test. I mean each boxer has to fight his own demons before he can beat his opponent. He has to be in control mentally as well as physically. Not one and not the other. Gotta be both and gotta be tight. There's the psychological game you play with yourself and the one you play with your opponent. THEN there's the physical game... which has its own levels: stamina, strength, power, making the right moves. And on and on. Damn. I gotta go if I'm gonna get to bed early to make up for my weekend of MAYHEM.

oh yeah don't forget Chris Byrd's screaming wife. somebody shut her up.

and how cool is it that Vitali does not talk to Wladimir between rounds... he holds the bucket... hands his traner the water... basically acting like an assistant to Emmanuel Steward, Wlad's trainer. He doesn't talk to the press. He doesn't look at the cameras. He is just there, behind his brother. When Wlad gets up on the corner posts after a victory for the crowd Vitali is right behind him, holding him up, not saying a word. Being as invisible as he can in supporting his little brother. I could just cry. What a man.


OK. That is all.... I think.

1. WHAT TIME DID YOU GET UP THIS MORNING?
6:30 well… ok… more like 7:00

2. DIAMONDS OR PEARLS?
Diamonds! Are you nuts?

3. WHAT WAS THE LAST FILM YOU SAW AT THE CINEMA?
Failure to Launch

4. FAVORITE T.V. SHOW(S)?
Hot Rocks and Cosmos on The Science Channel

5. WHAT DID YOU HAVE FOR BREAKFAST?
2 Veggie Dogs – 11g of soy protein each, baby!

6. WHAT IS YOUR MIDDLE NAME?
Sara

7. FAVORITE CUISINE?
Anything I’ve never had before

8. WHAT FOODS DO YOU DISLIKE?
Watermelon. Seriously hate it. Oh, and that damn green bean casserole that shows up every holiday season. BLECH!

9. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CHIP FLAVOR?
Pringles Plain

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CD AT THE MOMENT?
The Black Keys – Rubber Factory or Neko Case – Blacklisted or anything Ryan Adams since I will be seeing him this Sunday at The Moore

11. WHAT KIND OF CAR DO YOU DRIVE?
Geo Prizm or Ford Ranger, depending on where I’m going

12. FAVORITE SANDWICH?
Starbucks Turkey and Swiss… it’s got cucumber on it. Delish!

13. WHAT CHARACTERISTIC DO YOU DESPISE?
Arrogance, Hypocrisy

14. WHAT CHARACTERISTIC DO YOU LOVE MOST?
Genuine, Sincere, Authentic – just be REAL… even if you’re a REAL jackass at least you’re being real

15. FAVORITE ITEM OF CLOTHING?
my new green denim jacket

16. IF YOU COULD GO ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD ON VACATION, WHERE WOULD YOU
GO?
Ireland

17. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BATHROOM?
it ain’t mine but it’s white

18. FAVORITE BRAND OF CLOTHING?
Torrid

19. TO WHERE WOULD YOU RETIRE?
Oakridge, OR

20. WHAT WAS YOUR MOST MEMORABLE BIRTHDAY?
25th - the year I drank so much Jagermeister that I puked on my presents

21. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH?
The Sweet Science of BOXING

22. FURTHEST PLACE YOU ARE SENDING THIS?
I dunno… Redding, CA

23. WHO DO YOU LEAST EXPECT TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? Not sure

24. PERSON YOU EXPECT TO SEND IT BACK FIRST: Not sure

25. WHEN IS YOUR BIRTHDAY?
October 17th

26. ARE YOU A MORNING PERSON OR A NIGHT PERSON?
Morning

27. WHAT IS YOUR SHOE SIZE?
7.5

28. PETS:
Prince Roderick Underfoot Root aka Rod aka Fat Ass Cat, Fatso - Shut Up He Ain’t Fat He’s Fluffy

29. ANY NEW AND EXCITING NEWS YOU'D LIKE TO SHARE?
Going to see Ryan Adams at the Moore Sunday.

30. WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE?
A truck driver with a pet monkey like BJ and the Bear


31. HOW ARE YOU TODAY?
just fine thank you

32. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CANDY?
Cadbury chocolate mini eggs or gummy worms (depends on if I am dieting that day or not)

33. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLOWER?
don’t have a favorite

34. WHAT DATE ON THE CALENDAR YOU ARE LOOKING FORWARD TO?
this Sunday when I go see Ryan Adams. good lord, isn't it obvious. have you been reading any of this.

35. WHERE IS THE FURTHEST YOU HAVE EVER BEEN FROM HOME?
is Denver further than Kansas City?

36. A SMALL THING YOU REALLY ENJOY?
Clean and Clear Oil Blotting Sheets

37. YOUR OLDEST FRIEND YOU STILL KEEP IN TOUCH WITH?
Tina

38. PERSON(s) YOU TELL EVERYTHING TO?
LiveJournal.com (there are some things nobody needs to know)

5pm Saturday I’ll be watching the Wladimir Klitschko vs. Chris Byrd fight on HBO. Now Vlad is my boy. I should say, his brother Vitali is my boy. LOVE him. But this is his little brother and he’s been trying to live up to all these expectations and not quite been able to. Rumor has it that if he loses this fight Saturday he’ll retire. I think he’s gonna lose. I just reviewed the press conference photos and the guy has the look of somebody who is holding back a scream or ready to bolt for the nearest exit. The guy doesn’t have the psyche or emotional control that his older brother has. Vitali would show up for these things looking like an eastern block statue, with the calm assertiveness of a champion. Like nothing outside of himself could affect him in any way. Untouchable. But Wladimir... he just ain't got it. The times he has lost in the past were unexplainable physically. He was always in peak performance shape physically. It's that mental edge, the mental calm, that he is lacking. And I see it on his face today. And I will be watching the fight Saturday with a heavy heart and a worried mind. I hate to see him go.

I know things suck right now. And even if I say “you’ll get over it” or “good riddance to bad rubbish” or “I hate that guy” that wont make it any easier for you. All I can do is wish you the least amount of time possible to get him out of your head. Something I realized the times I was terribly hurt was that it was kinda like throwing a rock into a still pond – there’s the big splash, then the ripples that start to spread out from where the stone was thrown and those ripples at first are steep and close together but then they gradually get less steep and farther and farther apart until the water is still again. Getting over a broken heart seemed to be like that. You’re rolling along with your still pond and then WHAM! At first you are shocked and blown away and the times you think about him are real close together and it hurts real bad but after awhile the times you think of him are farther and farther apart and it hurts less and less each time until things are calm again. That’s what I wish for you. A calm, still pond again soon. And no jackasses throwing rocks in it!!!!!

You entered: 10/17/1972

Your date of conception was on or about 25 January 1972 which was a Tuesday.
You were born on a Tuesday
under the astrological sign Libra.
Your Life path number is 1.

Life Path Compatibility:
You are most compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 1, 5 & 7.
You should get along well with those with the Life Path numbers 3 & 9.
You may or may not get along well with those with the Life Path number 8.
You are least compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 2, 4, 6, 11 & 22.

The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2441607.5.
The golden number for 1972 is 16.
The epact number for 1972 is 14.
The year 1972 was a leap year.

Your birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 2/15/1972 and ending 2/2/1973.
You were born in the Chinese year of the Rat.

The date of Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 2 April 1972.
The date of Ash Wednesday (the first day of Lent) on your birth year was Wednesday 16 February 1972.
The date of Whitsun (Pentecost Sunday) in the year of your birth was Sunday 21 May 1972.
The date of Whisuntide in the year of your birth was Sunday 28 May 1972.
The date of Rosh Hashanah in the year of your birth was Saturday, 9 September 1972.
The date of Passover in the year of your birth was Thursday, 30 March 1972.
The date of Mardi Gras on your birth year was Tuesday 15 February 1972.

As of 3/9/2006 4:42:13 PM EST
You are 33 years old.
You are 401 months old.
You are 1,742 weeks old.
You are 12,196 days old.
You are 292,720 hours old.
You are 17,563,242 minutes old.
You are 1,053,794,533 seconds old.

Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 4.773385518591 years old. (You're still chasing cats!)



There are 222 days till your next birthday
on which your cake will have 34 candles.

Those 34 candles produce 34 BTUs,
or 8,568 calories of heat (that's only 8.5680 food Calories!) .
You can boil 3.89 US ounces of water with that many candles.


In 1972 there were approximately 3.7 million births in the US.
In 1972 the US population was approximately 203,302,031 people, 57.4 persons per square mile.
In 1972 in the US there were approximately 2,158,802 marriages (10.6%) and 708,000 divorces (3.5%)
In 1972 in the US there were approximately 1,921,000 deaths (9.5 per 1000)
In the US a new person is born approximately every 8 seconds.
In the US one person dies approximately every 12 seconds.


Your birthstone is Tourmaline
The Mystical properties of Tourmaline

Pink Tourmaline promotes female balance and protection. Green Toumaline promotes male balance.
Some lists consider these stones to be your birthstone. (Birthstone lists come from Jewelers, Tibet, Ayurvedic Indian medicine, and other sources)

Opal, Jasper

Your birth tree is

Maple, Independence of Mind
No ordinary person, full imagination and originality, shy and reserved, ambitious, proud, self-respect, hungers for new experiences, sometimes nervous, many complexes, good memory, learns easily, complicated love life, wants to impress.



There are 291 days till Christmas 2006!
There are 304 days till Orthodox Christmas!

The moon's phase on the day you were
born was waxing gibbous.